Heart or Head?

What I experienced today may not be new, but each time when it happens I wonder what I have done is appropriate? When I was preparing the message, there was nothing emotional about it. I was rather technical about. I had it all sort out what to say and no feeling was attached to it. In my preparation homiletically (The technicality of preparing a sermon) I can rate myself that I scored well. Exegetically (interpreting the bible) I am happy with what I have done.

As I begin the sermon I was classically a preacher, then an unusual wave of feelings and emotions took hold of me. I kept my outline and the content. As I preach I saw so much of myself in the sermon. I shared my heart. I felt very vulnerable. I open my life and heart like an open book to my congregation. At the same time my emotions got the better or me. It was so free flowing that I couldn't fake it.

In that same moment I felt my pains and the pains of the people that were so dear to me. I just let the best of my heart took over. I preach and shared my heart out. I tear through the whole sermon. This is when I technically flawed. I should be compose and not let my emotion run away. I wonder am I right to let my heart take the best of me? Or should I step back and take a breather and get technical and hold my composure?

I seek not pity or understanding from those who heard about my struggles. All that I have done was to be real to them and I am a person like them with head, heart and emotions. Pastor or not, I share a common humanity, with them we walk through the maze of life. Often buffeted and battered alone the journey of life we all must travel. As a pastor I feel for them. I pray for them. I wish I could shelter everyone under the pinion of my wings. Yet I am so limited and sometimes as frail as them.

I could only look to God, I could only wish in the deepest recess of my heart for the grace of God to cushion these love ones in their vulnerable moments. Head or heart? Does it matters? All that I can say is I have preached my heart out, I opened my life to them. I love them from the deepest of my heart. They are my family, my love ones.

Do we need Theology?

Having pastor, preached and taught for 30 years, I still hear about the bad press of ministers and Christians labeled on theology. It is saddens me more when preachers bad mouth theology. Theology is the study of God, if the study of God is bad they why are we preaching and teaching about Him. Is theology bad?

Many of us struggle with theological engagements. Sometime it is hard to grasp and understand. Our disenchantment with something we cannot understand does not make that something bad. We cannot bad mouth something just because we cannot understand that something. It only suggests to us that we have much more to understand and we need to put in more effort to ruminate and reflect on such things.

Theology by nature is good, it is bad theology that is bad. Bad theology has hurt the Church of God many times over. Bad theology leads to bad practice. It has divided the Church. It had lead well meaning Christians astray.

Good theology builds the Church. It takes the Church to a deeper engagement with God. It promotes a responsible expression of faith and life. It rightly proclaims God as He is. Paul urges the Christian to preserve sound doctrine and sound doctrine edifies the Church.

Theology's principal desire it the pursuance of God and the engagement with truth. In the process it engages with the different fields of studies. Sometime it gets intense and murky. But is need not be necessary so. The primary task of theology is diligence and right dividing of the Word of God. I can tell you it requires hard work and a sincere heart.